I first discovered the public world of BDSM in 2002, shortly before leaving my abusive marriage. Until then, I didn’t know there were other people out there who did what I did, who were like me. I thought that I was just weird, somehow damaged, probably mentally unhealthy. I learned to keep my yearnings to myself unless the person I was with showed a dominant leaning. Discovering that I wasn’t damaged, that there were a multitude of people out there who were just like me, and that there were men (in my case) who actually wanted a woman like me, opened up a whole new world for me. It allowed me to explore myself in a whole new light. And has allowed me to live my authentic self and be proud of who I am.
I have been somewhat submissive probably since childhood, but certainly since I began to recognize the differences between males and females. My earliest fantasies involved pirates and vampires, rope and switches and paddles and blood. While my girlfriends were swooning at daytime soap operas and giggling over Playboy, I was devouring pages of True Crime and any novel I could find that involved kidnapping, punishing and ravishing the headstrong girl. And then enacting them out with my Barbies and GI Joes stolen from my brothers’ closet.
After being owned for 5 1/2 years, I find myself again on my own. Many of my older writings here reflect this relationship, and are still a valid part of my path. I have learned much from revisiting them, and am using them to reformulate my own journey forward. My path has become much more spiritually based than it has been previously, and I am content to sit with that awhile.
I have served time volunteering on boards and helping organize events, and am proud to have served as the Arizona slave 2014. I currently host the Kink Culture Series and APEX EDGE: Back to Nature at APEX (Arizona Power Exchange). I have served in the past as President of Arizona girls of Leather (AZgoL), and as a Board member of Phoenix Area Lifestyle Society (PALS). I am also a member of Arizona Power Exchange (APEX), the Phoenix Chapter of Masters And slaves Together (MAsT), and Women in Leather International (WILI). I am also a Supporting Member of National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF).
Recently losing my Master/Husband, I am working to find myself again. This process involves redefining my beliefs and needs in M/s and relationships as a whole. I’m finding peace and balance, and it’s a good place to be.